Moving into Residence: My Journey from Loneliness to Connection

Moving into residence for the first time can be overwhelming, and my experience was no different. I arrived feeling alone and out of place, with no familiar faces to greet me. The room felt empty, a contrast to the lively home I was used to. The silence was unsettling, and I knew it would take time to adjust to this new environment. 

Many of you reading this are incoming first-year students moving into residence, and your experience might be quite different from mine. I moved in a year after the COVID-19 pandemic and immediately took on the role of a Community Advisor (CA), which came with its challenges. 

The abundance of campus resources was both a blessing and a curse. I had so many questions but didn’t know where to start, and the sheer number of options left me feeling overwhelmed. 

Living in Mary Keyes, an apartment-style residence, I had three roommates, and the anticipation of meeting them made me anxious. Would we get along? What if we didn’t? These were real concerns, but I soon realized they were part of the journey. To help you find different connections or feel more connected to the community, I have broken down my key tips for you below!  

1. Adopt an Open Mindset

Starting university can be overwhelming, but having an open mindset made all the difference for me. Attending events, starting conversations and being honest about myself helped me connect with new people and made me feel like I belonged. These are some of the more specific ways I applied my open mindset:  

• Attend Events: Participating in campus events was key for me. Although I was filled with a fear that I would leave the event without making any progress, I had to push through with that open mind. It provided opportunities to meet new people and bond over shared experiences. One memorable event was the Welcome Week carnival. I met some of my closest friends while trying out fun games (including a basketball stand to win a giant stuffed animal) and enjoying the festive atmosphere. 

• Be Open to Conversations: I made an effort to start conversations, even when it felt awkward at first. This helped me build a network of friends and acquaintances. I remember feeling nervous the first time I introduced myself at a bonfire, but that conversation led to a study group that helped me tremendously in my courses. 

• Embrace Vulnerability: Opening up about my feelings and experiences allowed others to do the same, creating a sense of solidarity and mutual support. Our study sessions often turned into weekly gatherings where we would openly share our struggles and triumphs, which became one of my favourite parts of feeling like I belonged. 

2. Build Connections

To combat my feelings of loneliness, I took full advantage of the events organized on campus. Welcome Week was a lifesaver, with reps organizing fantastic activities, including a carnival for us to enjoy. These events were the perfect opportunity to meet people and start forming community connections. 

Beyond Welcome Week, as the year progressed, I continued attending cultural association events that resonated with my background, where I met other close friends. I took the time to explore and reflect on my interests, which led me to participate in various clubs and organizations on campus. This included joining the chess club, where I bonded with others over friendly competition, and participated in events hosted by the McMaster Diversity and Equity Network (DEN), which provided me with a safe space to further reflect on my identity and people with similar experiences related to their identities. These experiences helped me overcome loneliness and also ignited a sense of self-discovery when deeply reflecting on my interests and also meeting like-minded individuals from these areas.  

Something I focused on, that I was most nervous about, was creating academic connections within my program. I found that these connections made my undergraduate journey different from what I had ever imagined. Who thought studying could be fun? – I definitely didn’t, until I met my group of people.  I attended study group sessions organized by the residence, and program-based clubs, which were great for meeting like-minded peers focused on their academic endeavors. I also tried to speak to classmates I sat next to, before and after lectures to find study partners and collaborate on assignments with. In the end, my study group became more than just academic help – it was a support system where we motivated each other. In my experience, teamwork truly makes the dream work, so it’s important to form these connections early on. 

3. Find Hotspots and Be Present

Another strategy that worked wonders for me was spending time in communal hotspots. The games room in Mary Keyes became my go-to spot to unwind and meet new people. Simply being present and engaging in campus activities made a significant difference. It allowed me to connect with others naturally and build friendships over shared interests. Some of the best places to make connections are Commons (in Mills Library), The MSU Hub, and the M floor of PGCLL.  

4. Overcome Feelings of Overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed when you first settle into a new environment is completely normal. Many others are likely feeling the same way, so you are not alone. To help manage these feelings, here are a few strategies that worked for me: 

• Take It One Step at a Time: The abundance of resources on campus can be daunting, so approach them gradually. You don’t need to explore everything all at once. 

• Prioritize What Feels Important: Focus on what matters most to you right now. Whether it’s attending social events, joining clubs, or seeking support, prioritize activities that align with your immediate needs and interests. 

• Seek Help When Needed and Utilize Resources: Feeling overwhelmed is completely normal, but there are plenty of resources available to help. The Student Wellness Center offers free counselling, which I found invaluable during stressful times. Peer-run groups like the Student Health Education Center (SHEC) and the Diversity and Equity Network (DEN) offer free peer support from trained volunteers. Joining these groups not only provided me with support but also gave me a sense of belonging. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support! 

Final Thoughts 

Reflecting on my journey, I see how much I have grown. Moving into residence was initially daunting, but it turned into one of the most rewarding experiences. I learned to step out of my comfort zone, seek help when needed, and cherish the connections I made. 

One of the most important lessons I learned during this time was the power of vulnerability. As I began to tear down my walls and open up to conversations with everyone I met, I realized that many students felt the same way I did. We were all navigating a shared sense of loneliness and a desire to connect. 

To all incoming first-year students: feeling lonely and overwhelmed is normal, but there are countless ways to build a supportive community and make the most of your time on campus. Embrace every moment, take advantage of the resources available, and don’t be afraid to reach out to others.