Written by: Sherin Kalathil, Honours Life Science IV, Peer Educator with SWC.
Happy Fall, Marauders! As we return from Reading Week, it’s the perfect time to refresh our understanding of consent — a key part of how we build trust and respect in all types of relationships, not just sexual ones. Here are five reasons why consent matters for everyone.
Consent is a non-negotiable requirement for any activity, especially sexual activity. Receiving consent before an activity means that everyone involved is on the same page, comfortable, and prepared to participate.
Although this may seem obvious, consent also applies to non-sexual situations. Checking in before doing something that affects someone else — like borrowing a friend’s hoodie, sharing a photo, or inviting someone into a shared space — are everyday examples of consent in action. Consent plays a big role in all relationships, sexual or not.
You might ask someone their birthday once and never again — because it doesn’t change. But consent isn’t static. A “yes” one day doesn’t mean “yes” forever. Consent can change based on the activity, the person, or even the moment. That’s why it’s important to check in before, during, and after any activity.
Many people worry that asking for consent might “ruin the mood,” but in reality, it often enhances trust and connection. Asking shows care, confidence, and respect — not awkwardness.
Here are a few simple ways to ask for consent without making it uncomfortable:
It can be tricky to remember all the components of what makes consent, but one of the most inclusive and updated frameworks is HOT SPICE, created by Cheryl Bradshaw, author of Real Talk About Sex and Consent.
According to the HOT SPICE model, consent should be Honest, Ongoing, Talked-about, Specific, Present-moment, Informed, Changeable, and Enthusiastic.
The HOT SPICE model isn’t just for sexual relationships — it’s a great framework for how we communicate respect, honesty, and boundaries in all types of relationships.
No two people communicate the same way. Some are comfortable with nonverbal cues, while others prefer explicit verbal confirmation. This is especially important for neurodivergent or disabled individuals, who may find subtle body language harder to interpret. Using direct and clear communication — as shown through HOT SPICE — helps ensure everyone is understood and respected.
According to HelpGuide.org, boundaries are the rules we set for ourselves and others in relationships — guiding how we want to be treated. These limits may differ depending on the relationship, and they’re key to maintaining self-respect, autonomy, and emotional well-being.
Consent and boundaries go hand in hand. By practicing giving and asking for consent, we express how we want to be treated and learn to listen to others’ comfort levels, too.
When you regularly give and ask for consent, you become more aware of who respects your comfort — and who doesn’t. This awareness helps you recognize healthy, supportive relationships and avoid harmful ones.
Every student, faculty, and staff member plays a role in shaping our campus culture. According to Statistics Canada, 71% of post-secondary students in Canada have witnessed or experienced unwanted sexualized behaviours — on or off campus, or online (2020). This shows that universities must continue working to dismantle rape culture — attitudes and behaviours that normalize sexual violence, coercion, and harassment.
In contrast, consent culture promotes mutual respect, autonomy, and trust. As defined by Sexual Violence Foundations (Waterloo), it’s “a culture where the prevailing narrative of sex — and all aspects of our lives — is one of mutual respect and consent.”
As we return from Reading Week, this is a great opportunity to reflect on how we, as a community, approach sex, autonomy, and respect. Even if you aren’t sexually active, you can still help build a culture of consent — by practicing active listening, respecting others’ boundaries, asking before using or sharing someone’s things, and speaking up against inappropriate jokes or comments.
Consent is about everyday respect and communication. Together, these small actions create a community where everyone feels safe, valued, and heard.
Student Wellness Centre, PGCLL 210/201: https://wellness.mcmaster.ca/
Sexual Violence Prevention and Response Office, University Hall Rm 109: https://svpro.mcmaster.ca/
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent
https://neuronav.org/self-determination-blog/guide-to-navigating-consent-with-disabilities
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nsv58469oZc&t=15s
https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships
https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/daily-quotidien/200914/dq200914a-eng.htm
https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/svprfoundations/chapter/5-2-consent-and-consent-culture/